Meaning of my existence

I know it’s a strange world and everybody living in it is strange in some or the other way. After spending years here I still feel that it’s a mystery to me. I still have many questions in my head, I still want to trust people, I still want to behave like a newborn baby who does not know the true picture of this world. But I am no longer a new born baby or a child. I have grown up and have seen this world to a great extent, it’s not very good feeling though. People are living like animals, No…… wait a minute not like animals, but like some other specie which can do any damn thing for survival. Animals can’t go to that extent.

When I go back and think about the time when I was a child I laugh at myself, I laugh how innocent I was. But today I am fighting very hard not to laugh at the situation where I am not able to recognize the true meaning of my existence. Do we come on this earth to live a hectic life, to face some challenges, to get some happiness and some sorrows and then to leave this life and people forget us like we never existed. And during this life-cycle some people seem very kind, very generous, very true and others seem very cunning, dishonest, liars and cheaters but It’s not necessary that they are how they seem. Here the mystery begins. You never get to know ‘who is what’ except a “verrrrrrry few people” and the day you lose trust on any of those “verrrrrrrry few people” you shatter completely. But you can’t break down, life does not allow you to do that. You have to stand up courageously and say that you love it. Life is so deceptive at every moment. I am not saying it does not have nice moments in it, but it’s difficult to differentiate. What seem nice might not be nice and what seem disgusting might turn out a nice thing. So again the mystery starts.

I don’t know too much about the world but I am trying to find out the reason for my existence, and I am dying to find it out.