एक दिन बादलों में उड़ते हूए ये ख्याल आया........

एक दिन बादलों में उड़ते हूए ये ख्याल आया........

यूँ तो पानी में कई बार उतरे हैं हम,

पर बादलों के समंदर में तैरने का मज़ा कुछ और ही है!

ऐसा लगता है मानो हर एक बदली कुछ कह रही हो हमस,

और हम उस आवाज़ को सुनने की कोशिश में लगे हैं!

काश की हम आसमाँ की इस ख़ामोशी को समझ पाते,

तो हम चुपचाप हर एक बदली से बतियाते!

सुना है आँखों की भी एक जुबां होती है...................

काश की हम इन बादलों की आँखों में झाँक पाते,

तो हम इशारों ही इशारों में हर एक बदली से बतियाते!

Another new year of my life.

So here I am, entering into another new year of my life. I wish in this new year I would be a better human being,better daughter, better friend,better employee, better sister and a better self. I wish i will learn more, grow more and will become stronger to survive in this world.

Again I face this problem of not able to put my feelings in words. I feel happy, I feel sad, I feel amazed, I feel surprised, I feel a lot many things and for a moment I also feel neutral, not affected by anything around me. Whatever......... I had a good day today. I thank to all people who took their precious time to wish me on this special day of my life . It would have been completed if just another wish would have come to my way.

" Khaali kitaab ke pannon ko dekh kar bas yahi khyal aata hai, ki kash ye mumkin ho jaye, ki apni aane wali zindagi ko inn panno par utaar sakoon"

Meaning of my existence

I know it’s a strange world and everybody living in it is strange in some or the other way. After spending years here I still feel that it’s a mystery to me. I still have many questions in my head, I still want to trust people, I still want to behave like a newborn baby who does not know the true picture of this world. But I am no longer a new born baby or a child. I have grown up and have seen this world to a great extent, it’s not very good feeling though. People are living like animals, No…… wait a minute not like animals, but like some other specie which can do any damn thing for survival. Animals can’t go to that extent.

When I go back and think about the time when I was a child I laugh at myself, I laugh how innocent I was. But today I am fighting very hard not to laugh at the situation where I am not able to recognize the true meaning of my existence. Do we come on this earth to live a hectic life, to face some challenges, to get some happiness and some sorrows and then to leave this life and people forget us like we never existed. And during this life-cycle some people seem very kind, very generous, very true and others seem very cunning, dishonest, liars and cheaters but It’s not necessary that they are how they seem. Here the mystery begins. You never get to know ‘who is what’ except a “verrrrrrry few people” and the day you lose trust on any of those “verrrrrrrry few people” you shatter completely. But you can’t break down, life does not allow you to do that. You have to stand up courageously and say that you love it. Life is so deceptive at every moment. I am not saying it does not have nice moments in it, but it’s difficult to differentiate. What seem nice might not be nice and what seem disgusting might turn out a nice thing. So again the mystery starts.

I don’t know too much about the world but I am trying to find out the reason for my existence, and I am dying to find it out.

People in my life

This blog is dedicated to people who are close to my heart. I thank to them for being in my life and giving me a new vision of life always in various terms. I love you all no matter what happens.

Had I been a good writer

I wish I had this talent of penning down my thoughts with appropriate usage of words, Then I would have described my thoughts,feelings, imagination, visualization etc to a great extent and the world inside me would have come out sometimes. But unfortunately I am not a good writer and my inner world find it very difficult to come out.

Life has moved a lot and still moving because that's what it is supposed to do. Things have changed and still changing. Many years back my little innocent brain thought that it will be relaxed in few years as it thought that all the tensions will be gone by then. But the cutey pie dint know that it's growing in a world where if you get rid of one tension you get two in return. So here It is...... thinking that it will be relax after few years. But I have understood the strategy so I told my little brain not to think too much and just relax right here...... at this very moment........ because who knows what's gonna happen after few years. So the little fellow understood the point and smiled and sent a friendship offer to my heart. Now they both have become friends and Trying to enjoy every moment right here...... and right now......

I wish I could go back

I wish I could go back and hold those moments which I don't have today.

I wish I could remove a little part of life.

I wish I had an option to edit it like an editor, then life would have been different.

I wish I could go back and start it again. I wish It would have never been too late.

Is it too late????? Well may be it is, but my heart does not accept the philosophy of being too late. so it still says that the same moments might not come back but it will be ok. I wish I can believe it at this very moment. I wish badly.

.......................

I am not able to give any name to this post as I have so many things in my mind that if I name it then it will not be justice to all thoughts. Life is moving so fast but at times I still feel the emptiness and selfishness of all human beings. I feel we all are living a life without understanding the true self and just running towards the end of life. No one thinks from the other person's prospect and we blame each other.

I feel a pity for those people who are living this life without giving it a thought. We all are blaming each other and everyone says to the other person that he/she does not understand me. But what I want to know is that do you understand yourself.I don't think so. we all think that we know ourselves very well. but actually we do not. and the day when people start analyzing themselves more than others they will stop finding faults in others. Our relations will improve and humanity will grow.

Most Important people in my life

" Two most important persons in my life are in front of my eyes. Their names are visible on my yahoo account with available status but none of them is even saying Hi. That is because they must be very busy. That’s the tragedy of my life. But I am like a crazy girl still call them most important persons in my life."

Is it fault of my brain cells ? my heart ? my thoughts? what? I don'nt know. But I am trying to find it out. struggling to find many answers in my life. I don't think I am the only creature who is like this. In this world this is human tendency to give importance to only what gives you pleasure , be it anything. you know what is bad for you but still you do that because that's what you want, and this "want" sometimes destroys you without giving you a chance to realize this. "And even if you realize it, you just want to be destroyed because that's what you want. "

I dont know if it happens.........................

I don’t know if it happens with you but it happens to me at times,
that someone smiles and it reminds me of you only.
Those words which you used to utter, still strike to my ears
but when I look around, I find you nowhere.
I don’t know if it happens with you but it happens to me,
that when I see someone walks like you ,
I feel like telling you that someone walks just like you,
but when I look around, I find you nowhere to tell u that.
I don’t know if it happens with you but it happens to me,
that at times I want to share the happiness with you only,
but when I look around, I find you nowhere.
I don’t know if it happens with you but it happens to me,
that I want to hold your hand only,
but when I look around, I find you nowhere.
I don’t know if it happens with you but it happens to me,
that at times I want to walk along with you only,
but when I look around, I find you nowhere.
I don’t know if it happens with you but it happens to me,
that at times I want to speak to you only,
but when I look around, I find you nowhere.
I know you are nowhere around,
but if knowledge would have been the solution for everything,
then my heart would haven’t beaten for you anymore.
And I am sure it does not happen to you,
else I must have been telling you all this at this very moment.......................................

Change is required today.

Sometimes I wish I was a writer and could write every emotion,every feeling and every word inside my little heart.But I am not.

It happens in life that you have so much to grab in front of you, but you do not pick up a single thing as there is a fear of loosing the other things which you are holding. Sometimes people ask questions and you have no answer. Why everybody expect you to live the way they have lived their life. people don't have answer for this. In fact they don't consider it a valid question. they call you crazy and out of your mind if say such things.

Why the hell you can't live your own life without their interference. If you try to go slightly out of the way, you become a criminal in our so called Indian society. It's not that you will be killed but you will feel like you have killed many people and you will be filled with the guilt. well, after many years from now things might change but my question is who is ready to take the first step today?